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2006/06/10

The Omen / See No Evil

Okay, so now for a movie review. Any of you that have experience with my movie reviews will know you are in for a treat. AND it will be sans spoilers.

In the tradition of 6, I have six words to sum up The Omen:

"Too Much Hype, Not Enough Delivery"

Basically, its the same movie as the one made in 1971 (I believe that is the year of the other one, please correct me if I am wrong) aside from the modern touches of cell phones and more modern cars, everything else is the same.

I will say though Mia Farrow, pretty much stole the show. And there is a really cool decap scene (I still cringed tho, cause that is what I do, decapitations bother me).

The boy playing Damien, I think was intended to be the new Haley Joel Osment, or Dakota Fanning, and in that respect, he failed. But in the same token, the Son of Satan is not a scared little boy who sees ghosts or a girl who has to deal with her father's split personality, so I guess its permissable.

Julia Styles shouldnt have played her part, should have been someone else, for sure. She just didnt seem scared enough.

Whoever the father was, brilliant actor, truly. I was totally convinced.

Photographer, also very convinced. Main father guy, not as convinced.

That's basically it. My rating: 3/5 middle fingers in the air!

So now for See No Evil. Four words sum this baby up:

"Started Slow, Finished Funny."

Okay, a few of you know, I am a fan of the WWE. So OF COURSE I'm going to see this movie. Kane is one of my favorite wrestlers, always has been. I like his sick humor on the show, and I expected this to carry over into the movie.

On this I was disappointed. He had barely any lines at all. The funniest part was way at the end, when... well, you'll have to watch it wont you? Just keep in mind, the funny part is after the screen roles the characters/actors/stunt people. Keep watching. Hehehe.

It was plenty gory enough for me. But I was kind of bored at the beginning. At the first kill I was like, "Wow, is that it? I payed 5.25 for this shit?" But as the movie progressed, it got better. So stay in your seats folks.

The highly acclaimed cellphone scene was probably one of the most inventive ways I've seen a villain kill someone in a movie. AND they kept teasing it, like everyone I read reviews about they were like "the cellphone scene" this and "the cellphone scene" that, and then the cellphone kept coming into play, lol, and I was like "is this it?" No? Damn, lol. But I was not disappointed with this in the least.

There were no big names other than Kane. But I didn't mind. The goth chick was hot as hell, seriously. Woo, shower scene... SCHWING! hehe. The other actresses were okay... the guys were ugly for the most part, one looked really gay and he was trying to pull off being a macho sex machine, didn't work at all. I wanted one guy to die, but he didnt, and that made me sad.

Overall though, it kind of reminded me what COULD HAVE happened to Frances Dolarhyde in "Red Dragon" if he'd been locked in a hotel.

So my review: 4/5 choke slams for See No Evil!

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