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2011/12/31

How to Get Yourself Killed Riding a Bike in the Winter

Everyone underestimates the joys of riding your bike during the winter in the snow. There are many dangerous things that can be done on your bike that can easily put your life and the lives of others in jeopardy. Keep in mind however, I have not actually gotten myself killed yet, so you are going to have to take that into account when you go off and try to get yourself killed.

MATERIALS - bicycle, snow

STEP ONE - Be afraid. Fear is probably the best way to get killed in any situation. Remember to be afraid because couple being afraid with being cold and your reaction time will be slowed much more than if you are calm. Slow reaction is a key to getting into a fatal accident.

STEEP TWO - Do not wear proper clothing. If it is below freezing, make sure you are wearing thin clothes and only one layer should be sufficient. If you are brave, try going out with shorts on. That way, your skin can get cold and then when you fall it could rip open. The cold will also make you bleed faster.

STEP THREE - Stay away from reflective and protective gear. Helmets, lights and reflective garments are your enemies on your quest to end up a smear on the road. If you do not have a helmet, or a vest or a flashing light you are prime for the squashing.

STEP FOUR - Go fast. The faster you go, the faster you head to your grave. To increase this, do not give yourself any extra time to get to your destination. For instance, if it normally takes you 30 minutes to get to work, give yourself only 30 minutes to get there when the snow is high. This will lead you to more stress on getting to work on time which will further delay your reaction time. Also, as you are going fast, make sure you make plenty of sharp turns, eventually you are sure to hit your head on something.

STEP FIVE - Pay no attention. The more you look around the safer you are. So keep yourself focused on the road in front of you and nothing else. This will help to slow your reaction time. Wear earphones also and turn them up so you cannot hear anything going on around you. Also sing along in your loudest voice, this might cause someone to ‘accidentally’ strike you with a car if they can hear you.

Discussion: Have you ever had to ride in the snow? How did that turn out for you?

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